Sam Campbell

I definitely don't know what's going on. I'm not even sure I know what's happening anymore. BUT I cannot wait to come to your town and respect your traditions. I have been on TV over 5 times. May I divulge a secret?

I have purchased a large metal ring. I will use it to keep all of the keys to the city that are given to me by the mayors I impress with my showmanship. Live comedy is straight up amazing because people gather to watch it in a spectacular setting rather than ogling an evil phone screen in some horrid grey dank little corner.